Note that individual results will vary. No results are guaranteed with the help of my advice, guidance, resources, training or any products and services I recommend or provide. All the products and services I provide are for educational and information purposes only. While my member testimonials of success are verifiable, this does not mean you will get the same results. It's no different from the gym. Not everyone who joins the gym is guaranteed six pack abs, it takes commitment, dedication and determination to succeed in any field. There are those who will not earn any money at all with my advice, guidance, resources, training or any products and services I recommend or provide, because individual results will depend on your determination, hard work, ability to follow directions and many more factors.
Note that individual results will vary. No results are guaranteed with the help of my advice, guidance, resources, training or any products and services I recommend or provide. All the products and services I provide are for educational and information purposes only. While my member testimonials of success are verifiable, this does not mean you will get the same results. It's no different from the gym. Not everyone who joins the gym is guaranteed six pack abs, it takes commitment, dedication and determination to succeed in any field. There are those who will not earn any money at all with my advice, guidance, resources, training or any products and services I recommend or provide, because individual results will depend on your determination, hard work, ability to follow directions and many more factors.
*This is my full disclaimer. Please be sure to read it carefully so you know exactly where you stand:
*This is my full disclaimer. Please be sure to read it carefully so you know exactly where you stand:
“Active listening” has a couple of fatal flaws, and if we’re following the typical of advice of active listening skills or communication skills training or videos, then we’re actually listening to others EVEN LESS.
I’ll explain why.
What’s actually happening when another person speaks? Their mouth is moving, they’re forcing air through their vocal chords, and sound waves are coming out which are being picked up by our ear drums, right?
So if you don’t speak Russian and I spoke to you in the language of “Russian”, that would be your experience. A bunch of sounds coming out of my mouth.
But if I speak “English”, it’s different. Why?
Because we understand English, because we’ve learnt English in our past. Throughout our entire lives, we’ve spent years and years and years building our understanding of the language, by intricately connecting the sounds of words with meanings, experiences, concepts and ideas formed from our entire life experience.
The English language - or more accurately our personal version of the English language - is utterly interwoven with our own past.
“Active listening” has a couple of fatal flaws, and if we’re following the typical of advice of active listening skills or communication skills training or videos, then we’re actually listening to others EVEN LESS.
I’ll explain why.
What’s actually happening when another person speaks? Their mouth is moving, they’re forcing air through their vocal chords, and sound waves are coming out which are being picked up by our ear drums, right?
So if you don’t speak Russian and I spoke to you in the language of “Russian”, that would be your experience. A bunch of sounds coming out of my mouth.
But if I speak “English”, it’s different. Why?
Because we understand English, because we’ve learnt English in our past. Throughout our entire lives, we’ve spent years and years and years building our understanding of the language, by intricately connecting the sounds of words with meanings, experiences, concepts and ideas formed from our entire life experience.
The English language - or more accurately our personal version of the English language - is utterly interwoven with our own past.
Disclaimer: Individual results will vary, I can't guarantee any results. Please read full disclaimer and privacy policy at the bottom of this page.
Disclaimer: Individual results will vary, I can't guarantee any results. Please read full disclaimer and privacy policy at the bottom of this page.
WANT MORE LIKE THIS?
WANT MORE LIKE THIS?
If you’ve found this useful and powerful, well there’s plenty more where that came from. Here are some other videos you might like:
If you’ve found this useful and powerful, well there’s plenty more where that came from. Here are some other videos you might like:
SO WHAT DOES THIS "MEAN"?
SO WHAT DOES THIS "MEAN"?
If you’re “actively listening” to me and I say the word “glasses”, what do you interpret that to mean? Do you think of sunglasses? Does your brain take you to sunny beaches, relaxing feelings, good times? Or does it go to frustration, struggling to read, and a little anxiety from all the times you’ve had to go to the opticians along with a pang of anxiety about the couple of times you were really low on cash and you had to shell out for new lenses because you broke your last pair…?
If it was possible to remove your past right now, you would no longer understand English. You’d hear sounds just like you would if someone spoke Russian to you. When you are listening to a language that you understand, you are not listening to what the other person is saying. You can only ever listen to your own past experiences.
The other person is not really speaking to you, it’s their truth of the world based on their past that’s speaking. Are you’re not really listening to them, it’s your truth of the world that’s based on your past that you’re listening to.
When they talk, you’re listening to your past. You’re listening to your own past interpreting the sounds coming out of their mouth.
If you’re “actively listening” to me and I say the word “glasses”, what do you interpret that to mean? Do you think of sunglasses? Does your brain take you to sunny beaches, relaxing feelings, good times? Or does it go to frustration, struggling to read, and a little anxiety from all the times you’ve had to go to the opticians along with a pang of anxiety about the couple of times you were really low on cash and you had to shell out for new lenses because you broke your last pair…?
If it was possible to remove your past right now, you would no longer understand English. You’d hear sounds just like you would if someone spoke Russian to you. When you are listening to a language that you understand, you are not listening to what the other person is saying. You can only ever listen to your own past experiences.
The other person is not really speaking to you, it’s their truth of the world based on their past that’s speaking. Are you’re not really listening to them, it’s your truth of the world that’s based on your past that you’re listening to.
When they talk, you’re listening to your past. You’re listening to your own past interpreting the sounds coming out of their mouth.
YOU CANNOT EVER LISTEN TO WHAT ANOTHER PERSON IS TRULY SAYING
YOU CANNOT EVER LISTEN TO WHAT ANOTHER PERSON IS TRULY SAYING
Your ears can perceive the sound vibrations in the air coming from their vocal chords, sure.
But when you interpret the language they’re speaking, you’re listening to your own past meanings. You cannot listen to their meanings, because you have not experienced their life exactly as they have.
When you are “listening” to someone, put your attention into attempting to understand how THEY see the world.
There is their truth of the world, your truth of the world, and the actual truth of the world. The actual truth, none of us really know. Because as long as we identify as “someone”, then we are living in our truth of the world, which is based on our extremely limited past experience.
Your ears can perceive the sound vibrations in the air coming from their vocal chords, sure.
But when you interpret the language they’re speaking, you’re listening to your own past meanings. You cannot listen to their meanings, because you have not experienced their life exactly as they have.
When you are “listening” to someone, put your attention into attempting to understand how THEY see the world.
There is their truth of the world, your truth of the world, and the actual truth of the world. The actual truth, none of us really know. Because as long as we identify as “someone”, then we are living in our truth of the world, which is based on our extremely limited past experience.
WHAT IS "THE TRUTH"?
WHAT IS "THE TRUTH"?
Everyone thought “the earth is flat” was the truth, until Eratosthenes (Or Pythagoras, or Columbus…) discovered that it’s round. And we could even take the same concept of “the earth is round” and question truth, and with quantum mechanics and some of the revelations of more recent years about the relationship between space and time, it’s quite likely that a lot of “truth” about our physical world of matter will change again.
Anyway. By listening to someone else, you are essentially attempting to step into being them, as closely as you can. You are attempting to see their truth of the world through their eyes.
And so the only thing that really matters when listening to someone, is what your intention is. Why are you aiming to understand them? Is your intention to do with them and their needs, or to do with you and your needs?
Are you trying to bend them to your will, or are you trying to help them grow, achieve their goals, be someone they want to be, feel great, make the world a better place, solve their problems etc etc.
When I listen to others, I attempt to understand what they want, I attempt to understand their truth of the world, and then I become a mirror. I reflect their truth of the world back at them so that they can see their own blindspots, and figure out how to move past them. My intention is usually empowerment.
And if you want to empower someone to “get to where they want to go”, you have to try to get a clearer understanding of “where they’ve come from”.
Everyone thought “the earth is flat” was the truth, until Eratosthenes (Or Pythagoras, or Columbus…) discovered that it’s round. And we could even take the same concept of “the earth is round” and question truth, and with quantum mechanics and some of the revelations of more recent years about the relationship between space and time, it’s quite likely that a lot of “truth” about our physical world of matter will change again.
Anyway. By listening to someone else, you are essentially attempting to step into being them, as closely as you can. You are attempting to see their truth of the world through their eyes.
And so the only thing that really matters when listening to someone, is what your intention is. Why are you aiming to understand them? Is your intention to do with them and their needs, or to do with you and your needs?
Are you trying to bend them to your will, or are you trying to help them grow, achieve their goals, be someone they want to be, feel great, make the world a better place, solve their problems etc etc.
When I listen to others, I attempt to understand what they want, I attempt to understand their truth of the world, and then I become a mirror. I reflect their truth of the world back at them so that they can see their own blindspots, and figure out how to move past them. My intention is usually empowerment.
And if you want to empower someone to “get to where they want to go”, you have to try to get a clearer understanding of “where they’ve come from”.